Recruiting, Simplified: Why It's More Than Just "Pitch and Pray"

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Note: this week’s edition is an extension of recruiting like an underwriter. If you haven’t read that yet, I’d suggest starting there first.

Further: I’m creating an exclusive group on signal. This is for agency recruiters only to create an avenue where we can all help each other get better in real time. If you’d like access to this group, either comment on here or DM me directly on X.

Recruiting isn’t just a checklist of questions; it’s a mindset.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re sourcing data scientists, customer success managers, lawyers, accountings, whatever. The principles are universal.

After sharing that post, I received a good amount of messages. Some people loved it; others had questions. One stood out: “Can you explain the process in more relatable terms?”

And I can. Let’s talk about something we’ve all done: asking someone to the movies.

Asking Someone to the Movies vs. Screening a Candidate

This analogy has become my go-to for explaining recruiting to people outside the industry. It’s how I used to train new hires, mentor junior recruiters, and convince skeptics that our job is an art and a science.

Picture this: You ask a friend to go to the movies.

Their initial reaction? “Sure.”

Simple enough? You’re friends. You both love movies. What could go wrong?

Fast forward two weeks. It’s movie night. Suddenly, they’re backing out. No plans. No explanation. Just “Can’t make it, sorry.”

Sound familiar?

Here’s what happened: You failed to identify their dealbreakers upfront; stay in contact; reconfirm interest; and follow up.

Let’s break it down.

The Questions You Didn’t Ask

When you invited them, you assumed their “Sure” was a firm yes. But did you consider:

• Movie genre? Comedy? Action? Horror? People have preferences.

• Ticket price? Not everyone wants to drop $20 on a blockbuster.

• Schedules? Did they already have commitments?

• Timing? Afternoon or evening? Timing matters.

• Snacks or meals? Did you plan on dinner before/after?

• Location? Is the theater convenient for them?

• Personal barriers? Kids, partners, work obligations—all can derail plans.

You skipped all these steps. So when “something came up,” it wasn’t random. It was predictable.

The Recruiting Parallel

This is exactly what happens when we “screen” candidates without truly understanding their needs, pain points, and motives.

It’s easy to pitch a role, hear “Yes, sounds good,” and assume you’re golden. But that “Yes” is rarely what it seems. Here’s what you need to uncover:

• Are they active or passive? Are they job hunting or just testing the waters?

• Work preferences? Remote, hybrid, or on-site?

• Career goals? Do they want to climb the ladder or stay as an IC?

• Compensation? What are they making now? What’s their target?

• Motivators beyond money? Growth, stability, team culture—what’s driving them?

• Timeline? When are they actually ready to make a move?

The list goes on. Miss these details, and your “Sure” might as well be a “Maybe.”

Why "Yes" Means Nothing (Until It Does)

Let’s revisit that “Yes” from your candidate. It’s tempting to celebrate, but here’s the hard truth:

• Some say “Yes” out of politeness. They don’t want to hurt your feelings.

• Some say “Yes” for the flattery. “Wow, someone thinks I’m in demand.”

• Some say “Yes” just to end the call. “Sure, send the details…” click.

Your job is to figure out which type of “Yes” you’re dealing with. And often, that means aiming for a “No.”

Why "No" is Your Secret Weapon

Here’s where most recruiters get it wrong: They’re scared of the word “No.”

But great recruiters? They embrace it. Because every “No” is an opportunity to:

• Address objections.

• Uncover real motivators.

• Build trust.

When you ask tough questions—the kind that might lead to a “No”—you’re doing the hard work upfront. And if the candidate stays in the conversation, you’ve already crossed the biggest hurdle. Now they’re convincing themselves why they want the role, instead of you selling it like a used car.

Turning "Yes" Into Something Real

So, how do you turn a lukewarm “Yes” into a genuine commitment?

1. Ask the tough questions early. Genre, snacks, timing—all the movie stuff. Translate that to your role. Preferences, pain points, dealbreakers.

2. Don’t settle for surface-level answers. Dig deeper. When they say, “I’m open to hybrid,” find out what hybrid actually means to them.

3. Focus on motives, not just logistics. Why are they open to new opportunities? What’s missing in their current role?

4. Prepare for change. Just like plans fall through for a movie night, life happens. Stay flexible, and always have a Plan B.

Recruiting Is About Connection

At the end of the day, recruiting isn’t just about filling roles. It’s about understanding people—their goals, fears, and priorities. When you approach candidates with empathy and curiosity, you’re not just screening them; you’re building trust.

And trust? That’s what separates the average recruiters from the great ones.

So next time you’re pitching a role, think about it like asking someone to the movies. Be thorough. Be curious. And don’t stop until you’ve got a “Yes” that actually means something.

Did you enjoy this newsletter? If so, I have one “ask”. I turned this from a paid newsletter into a free one so more people can learn & engage. So my ask is if you found this valuable, please share with as many of your peers as possible so I don’t regret my decision!