Telling A Candidate To Take Another Offer

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Recruiting is a game of human connections. It’s easy to forget that we work with people, not “placements”, when we work off commission.

You’re not just filling jobs—you’re influencing lives, managing emotions, and building long-term trust. The story I’m about to share highlights why saying no sometimes gets you closer to yes in this business down the road.

The Setup

I was working with a strong candidate for a financial services client. She was a contract recruiter whose current assignment was about to end. The role I was recruiting for ticked almost all her boxes:

• Commute: 30 minutes, hybrid 3x/week.

• Compensation: A meaningful bump from her last contract.

• Work: Engaging and relevant.

Even though her current role was fully remote, I thought I had her interest locked. She needed a new opportunity, and my role hit her pain points.

The Curveball

As the process progressed, I stayed ahead of the curve:

• Reconfirming Interest: After every touchpoint, I validated that this role was still her top choice.

• Competitive Intel: She mentioned two other opportunities in the mix, but mine was at the top.

Or so I thought.

Right before the final round, she dropped a bomb: she was pulling out. Why? An old colleague—now a hiring manager—had reached out with a better offer:

• Fully remote.

• Higher pay.

• Political equity.

It was a no-brainer for her.

The Decision

Here’s the part where many recruiters go wrong: they push. They guilt-trip, convince, or try to salvage the placement. But I didn’t.

Instead, I told her to take the other offer.

Why? Because it was the right move for her. And here’s what happened next.

1. Trust Is the Foundation of Influence

Chris Voss, the former FBI negotiator, often says: “The fastest way to gain someone’s trust is to demonstrate you understand their situation better than they do.”

By encouraging her to accept the better offer, I showed I wasn’t just another self-serving recruiter. I became an advisor she could trust. And trust opens doors to future opportunities—referrals, partnerships, and goodwill.

2. Go for the No

Here’s a truth about sales and recruiting: the sooner you hear no, the closer you are to the real answer.

If I had pressured her to stick with my role, I’d only delay the inevitable. Candidates who truly want a role will push back when you give them permission to walk away. She didn’t. That was my signal: this wasn’t the right fit for her.

3. Play the Long Game

People remember how you make them feel.

By respecting her decision, I did more than close the door gracefully—I left it ajar.

• She knows I act in her best interest.

• She’ll think of me for referrals.

• When her hiring manager needs help filling a role, who’s she going to recommend?

• Better yet, if she ever becomes a hiring manager?

Recruiting is a relationship business. Winning today at the expense of tomorrow is a fool’s game.

4. It’s Just the Right Thing to Do

Recruiting is hard. People are trusting you with their livelihoods. Treating them like humans, not transactions, isn’t just a strategy—it’s a moral obligation.

5: Know when it’s time to put your sales hat on

Of course there are times where I put my sales hat on. But the difference is knowing when to put it in.

For example, if I’m competing with another role that’s equal or at least close enough to what my role has, of course I’m wearing it. I’m having the candidate verbalize their pain points and motives again, and showing my role roles solves them compared to whatever else they have.

But in cases like these - where it’s a no brainer - don’t even bother wearing it.

The Takeaway

Here’s what I learned from this experience:

1. Empathy > Pressure: Understanding a candidate’s situation builds more credibility than any pitch ever will.

2. Confidence in the Process: If you know the role is good, you don’t need to force it. The right candidate will show up.

3. Think Bigger Than One Placement: Relationships outlast contracts.

Applying This Lesson

Next time a candidate throws you a curveball:

• Pause.

• Understand their motives.

• Encourage them to make the best decision for their career.

Saying “no” might not close the deal today, but it lays the groundwork for a hundred deals tomorrow.

Here’s your homework: Think about the last time you fought too hard to save a placement. Did it pay off? Or did you damage a potential long-term relationship?

Drop your thoughts in the comments. Let’s build a community that plays the long game.